Putting your dog's needs ahead of your dreams...

This is a fairly emotive topic for me at the moment. Last month Mr Finn was retired from his competitive agility career after an incident at an agility show, all before the age of 4 years old (he celebrated his 4th birthday yesterday, which was a day of mixed feelings for me). His anxiety levels have been steadily becoming worse and worse, and he now has full blown 'Generalised Anxiety Disorder' and is finding life increasingly hard to cope with, and it seems despite LOVING agility, the competitive agility environment is just too much (although ironically he seemed as calm as I have ever seen him before said incident, but there you go, in hindsight the term 'knife edge' springs to mind!). So my plans for a summer full of shows have gone, my aspirations for my handsome boy have crumbled away, and he has had to pretty much retire from life for now (though when you start to understand a little bit more about the collie brain and what they've been bred for/not bred for, his behaviour starts to make a bit more sense - see my previous blog post).

So what do you do when it becomes obvious your performance partner isn't up to the task? When that puppy that was full of promise turns out to not be suited to the goals you have chosen for it? When the dog you bought for a specific purpose such as agility, obedience, flyball, showing or any other sport isn't suitable for that purpose (be it physically, temperamentally, or motivationally)? Well, this is where you have to start asking yourself some hard questions and make some hard decisions. And this is where I know this becomes a highly charged topic for others as well, because it can be hard to know what the 'right' thing to do is, and opinions differ on what the 'right' thing is.

I think the first thing to realise is that not every dog is cut out for the competition environment or group classes, just as not all of us are cut out for the pressures of performing on the stage or attending crowded parties, and we need to respect our dogs for who they are and what their limits are. Finn is not able to cope with the stresses of the competition environment, and I need to respect that. This does not mean that I've 'given up' on him or 'discarded' him to the reject pile, and he is currently on behavioural meds and we will be looking at training programmes to help him with some of his issues, but I have chosen not to push him past what is fair, kind or reasonable to expect, and I feel this is the right thing to do. At the end of the day, competitive agility is my goal, not his; dogs don't care about winning rosettes and trophies, only people do. If Finn loves agility but can't cope with the shows or classes, then he can still do what he loves in our field but without having a mental meltdown about it, and this is obviously the best option for him. I have to put my goals aside and focus on what he needs to make his life as stress-free as possible. It can, however, be incredibly hard to let go of your own ambitions.

At this point, I'd like to mention my friend Sarah and her collie Izzy. I'm sure Sarah won't mind me saying this, but Izzy is a little mad (large amounts of 'collie eye' and chase, very easily aroused), and Sarah isn't a particularly experienced dog owner or trainer. Her and Izzy have been on quite a learning curve during their 3 years together (Sarah first turned up at my classes when Izzy was about 1, having been to a local trainer since puppyhood who had managed to convince her that her dog was fundamentally 'bad', and every other word out of Sarah's mouth was 'sorry' every time Izzy did anything dog-like!). Sarah's been working really hard with Izzy, and has gone to great lengths to try to educate herself so that she might better understand her dog, and to learn techniques to better manage her, and I'm hugely proud of what they've both managed to achieve so far. But there was another point to mentioning Sarah and Izzy - and that is that I have enormous amounts of respect for Sarah for knowing her dog's limits, and not being afraid to sacrifice her desires if it isn't in the best interests of her dog. Sarah would desperately love to compete in agility, but she knows it's not an environment Izzy would be able to readily cope with, so she has put aside her needs for Izzy's. When Izzy was struggling to cope in a class situation and Sarah was finding it stressful, she dropped out of the class to do private training instead, even though I wasn't able to offer her the private training as regularly. When our little doggy 'social group' are planning which local fun dog shows we're going to over the summer, Sarah would always love to be able to bring Izzy along and join in, but she knows her limits, and is strong enough to come along without the dog. Sarah is actually better than Mum and I at putting aside her ego and her desires for the benefit of her dog, and I have huge admiration for her for that, and in that respect she has a lot to teach me. I think Mr Finn is telling me it's finally time to listen.

So what does the future hold for Mr Finn? Hopefully a more stress-free life! Quiet walks, calm and private training sessions in our field, naps on the sofa, games with Whirli, and lots of love from his Mummy. Time to start putting his needs ahead of my own desires. Not easy to do, and I'm hoping I can be strong enough to be the Mummy he deserves. If I'm not looking out for his best interests, who is?!

Wags and kisses,
Shelley, Finn and Whirli x